Hatred is not that far from love
by RazorLike
Summary: Back at Wammy's, Mello hates Matt, Mtt hates Mello. But...do they really hate each other? Read to find out
1. Chapter 1

_**...Hatred...**_

Hey, I'm , actually it's Mail Jeevas, but it's ok to call me Matt, everybody in Wammy's does tell you the truth, everybody in Wammy's has a fake name, an alias. We're obliged to have one, to be safe...Whatever....I was never asked to come here 'round and I'm far than pissed off beeing here. Thank God I still have my D.S and Gameboy...

Everything in Wanny's sucks. I mean it! Everything is silly and hated. And above all, this stupid girlish boy, Mello. Mello, what a crappy name...Stupid lond blond hair, leather clothing...like a cheap prostitute in all. The dominant difence is that I never felt the urge to mess up with him. Hell no, Linda is far better than him, despite the silly smiling/loud bathroom singing/deathly griping hug. Yeah, Linda is better...Mello, the ultimate prick, with the sexy ass and tight leather pants and stupid rosary...Blieh...

Said prick walked into my room (erm...actually it's our room, we are damned roomates...no comments!) and stared angrilly at me. " What are you staring at, moron?" he asked me and climbed onto his bed, in the other side of the room.

I chackled in disbelief. "Who's staring at whome, you bastard?" i said the first thing that came to my lips, and I enjoyed the efect my words had on him : he turned from the purest pale to the darkest pink and his muscles stifened.

" Thank God I'm not in the mood to kill you today, Matt." he spit through his teeth and tried to handle his angry.

" Again, Mello? I'm continiously thanking God 'cause I'm not like you..." I teased him cooly. He blushed more, but I didn't stop. ' Wanna see how long you can stay this cool...' and I kept on teasing him. " Look at you...a lonely boy constantly eating chocolate ( to cover up his bitter taste, I bet), no girlfriend, no friends at all...How sorry I feel for you, poor Mello...Or should I say _'Mihael_'? I heared Roger calling you like that one day...Hah! You even got the most stupid name! How suitable for such a stupid creature...".

I hadn't dare to glance at him yet. I was sure he'd be mad at me, but I didn't care. I only wanted to keep insulting him. He little bastard! He'd never said a good word to me at first, and the first time he'd spoken to me he'd said : " Hey you, the fucker there! Gimme chocolate!". Oh, no. Not the right thing to say to Mail Jeevas, kiddo...Since then I was mad at him all the time, keep teasing him...He didn't actually do something better...

Back in his bed, he was staring at me, shiny blue eyes fixed on my green ones. His lips were a thin line of pale pink at all the blod had wringed from his face. _' Maybe I...overdid it this time...'_ I thought.

He just eyed me a little more and then stood up silently and got out of the room, closing the door behind him.

My jaw droped in surprise. _'Mello didn't say a thing? Wow...'_ Well, if you consider it a bt, what could he have said? What I told him (even thought not in a good manner) was pure truth. He had no friends, no identity, no nothing. But...but...dunno, something deep inside me was whispering that all those things were non of my buisness, so why did I tell them?

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Just about an hour after our little "conversation", Linda stormed in my bedroom and slamed the door shut. I shut my D.s closed and stared at her. She was obviusly angry, far too angry one could have said. Her dark brown eyes were shiny, her hair was electrified and her fists were curled.

The first impression was that Linda was angry. The second was that the flames starting out from her nares were missing to complete the gruesome sight of a Devil - like - Linda. Needless to say I hold back my thoughts and laughter both. I didn't wanna have another bump from her. I gave her a gently look instead.

" What brought my dearest Linda in my room?" I asked gently. Too gently...

" Wanna die now or after confesing your sins to God?" was her cruel answer that broke my heart.

" Hmm...let me see..." and I flew a finger to my lips, pretending to be thoughtful.

" WHAT THE HELL MATT?!?" linda yelled, and I hit my head backwards at the sound of her extremely loud voice.

"...outs...well, obviusly the Hell, Linda " I mutered while rubing the back of my head. " What is all this noise for? "

" Matt, I saw Mello-"

" Well...it would surprise me if you hadn't " I cut her off

" -in the library-"

" ...reading again..."

" -and IheredhimsaythatyouwererightandhewouldleaveWammy's " Linda said in a breath, afraid of another interuption.

I blinked once. Twice. I shoke my head a bit. " Erm...come again?"

Linda heaved a sigh of annoyance " I heared him pray! I heared him say that you were right and he would leave Wammy's! Because you told him - I have no idea what - he's gonna leave Wammy's! Got it now? " Linda said bitterly, her eyes floaded with tears.

_' He's gonna leave...because of me?'_. I always new I was a disturbance to Mello, yes. I was a tease all the time, yes. But...C'm on, he's Mello! The strong bastard that cares for nobody! Who doesn't give a shit for what others say!

...does he...?

" Matt! Matt, you gotta stop him! He'd never face the reall world, he can't survive out there!" Linda beged me and sat down.

" Linda, he's almonst eighteen, I'm sure he can take care of himself." I informed the scary girl, even though my heart was beating too fast to calm me down. Linda was right, I had to do something. Anything.

I stood up " But...he needs someone to fight with. who else but me is the right person for that?" I muttered and poped out from the room.

The floor was rowling under my shoes. I headed so fast to the Library, and I started searching for thee long leather dressed figure and the common glimpse of Mello's shiny hair.

.Nothing. He wasn't there. Only books on the raffia, the carpet on the floor and the deathly silence I knew so well. No Mello and his always following smell of chocolate.

I sighed in disbelief and I pushed my brains to get to work. '_ Ok, he's not here...He came into our room, then stormed out. After an hour or so Linda came in too ans scoled me...Mello was suposed to be here but he's not...Well, if somebody wanna leave he first goes to his romm, to get his stuff...but I was in his room until I stormed out to find Mello...S-'_. I stoped the racing thoughts with a loud snap. The Hell..._'...Till I stormed out...HE'S THERE NOW I LEFT!'_

I run again, no running like that one in my entire life. I slamed the door open only to find a sobbing Linda sitting on Mello's bed. The closet was open and half of the clothes were missing. Guess whose clothes...

" Linda, was Mello here? " I asked the girl, and he nodded. I leaned closer to her and shoke her soulders. " Linda tell me, where did he go? "

" M- Mello g-got o-o-out! " she gasped and showe me the general position of the central gate of Wammy's with a shaking finger.

In a minute I was there, sweaty and panting, afraid that he had left. But no, there he was, opening the Gate that leaded to the central road.

" Mello, wait! Don't! " I yelled calling him.

He turned back his head to face me and gave me a sad smile. " You were right, Matt. I'm the absolute wash-out, and now I'm leaving your place. " he told me and turned around.

He hadn't saw it. He hadn't saw the fuckin' car that was heading right to him. He didn't have the time to think, to take a step bac, to protect himself, to save his life...

" WATCH OUT! " I yelled at the top of my lungs and started runing to him.

But the car hit him first. He hit Mello. He fell down, his lugage landed on the pavement, his head resting on the cold road. The driver was drunk enough not to stop and help.

" Mello...no, please... " I wispered and knelt next to him. " Mello...don't die..." and I held his body in my arms, tears running down my face.

I felt a weird pain inside of me, a pain I couldn't explain. All those years I had been praying for him to leave, or die, or be vanished...But when I held him, I could only pray for one thing _:' Please, God...whoever you are, take care of him, don't let him die...I beg you...'_

_**~~~End of chapter one~~~**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**...Love...**_

I had been waiting there for six hours. Six hours still like concrete, my fists clunching my striped blouse and Mello's rosary placed on my lap. It had a bead broken, and when the car hit him it flew away from him. He had been in the E.R for abou all this time. Thank God Roger had stormed out from the building, leaded by a shaking Linda, and had imediatelly called the ambulance. I had resisted to stay behind, to Roger and Linda's surprise...

So, there we were, me waiting and he in the E.R...

_' Dear God...I know Mello believes to you, I never did. Please, guard him there inside and fix him, I know he knows you can...Do it for him, damn it...for him...'_...Why? Why did I have to say all those things to him? I was the reason why the damn car hit him, I was the reason why he was there now, I was the reason why it wasn't sure if he could get over it! It was all my fault...

" Erm, sir..." a gentle voice somewhere above my head. A nurse dressed in white...

" Yes? Is it about Mello? The guy that was hit by a car? Is he Ok? " I asked shivering

The nurse gave me a small smile that encouraged me a bit. " He'll be ok. The surgery was hard for him, he needed blood. He's got a leg broken and some small bruises and cuts on his face and body because of the fall. But he'll be ok."

I huged the nurse in relief and lift her from the groung with an insane laugh. I then put her down and colapse onto my chair, handing his rosary - Mello's rosary - and holding it onto my chest. Tears...tears again moistening my dried face, leaving behind a salty taste. _' He'll be ok... he'll be ok...Oh my God, thank you so much...'_

" Do you wanna see him, sir? " the nurse asked me, pating getly my soulder.

" Oh, yes please,can I? " and I stood up, though my kneels were still shaking

" Follow me, he's in his room. But he's still unconscious " the nurse warned me.

" I don't care, I wanna see him " I stated and I passed through he door she had kept opened for me.

" I'll let you stay here for a while. I'll go now... " she muttered and closed the door lightly behind her back.

I looked at Mello's bed and saw him. His head was bandaged, so did his right led. A woond was bandaged and plastered on his abdoment, where the car's bumper had hit him. His face was bruised and I saw a cut on his lower lip.

My heart jumped as I has geting closer to his bed, closer to Mello...I sut up on another chair placed next to the bed and stared at his face in pain, knowing that it was my fault that all thiese bruises were there. A strong pain filled me. _' I could have lost him...I could have lost him...'_..

But, then again, why did I care? I always hated him, from the first day I met him. And so did he. I was the number two rival. Near was always number one, but I was there! I was another rival to him, rival! Not even a friend, not much more of a simple roomate...

My heart jumped again. That was the problem. I was nothing more than his roomate. Eternal roomate and rival, that was all. _' And I wanted to be so much more...'_ I thought and leaned closer, touching lightly at last his swolen face. Warmth filled my fingertips, where they were conected to his skin. _' So...this is it...? This is love...? was it never hatred but...love? '_

I wish I could have the answer. The only thing I kwe was that Mello was safe - hurt but safe - and I could never ask for more. So, I leaned even closer and whisered against his ear : " i promise I'll be there for you, Mihael, whenever you need me. I promise to take care of you, guard you...I promise to be your friend from now on..."

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" MATT!!! MATT, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!? " Mello was yelling a week after the accident. A damn week I passed surving Mello, doing whatever he wanted. A damn bloody week I end up cursing my instant ispiration to promise him frienship and patience! _'Bravo Matt...you, stupid fucker can't keep your mouth shut for once! Look what hapened! '_ I scold myself and got in our room, chocolate in hand and ...more chocolate in bag. " What? " I asked and stared at Mello.

His face was back to his demonical sexy common state, beautiful as always. No, wrong...much more demonical, yet much more sexy. His leg still hurted, so he was staying in bed the most of the day long. His woond kept on iching, and I was helping him to change bandanges every two days, to keep it clean.

The accident hadn't influence his lugs, though.

" Matt, you're late and I want my chocolate. " he ordered me with a cruel face.

"...yes your magesty...anything else I would do for you? " I ofered the chocolate and made a polite ask.

" Go to Hell "

" with pleasure..." I sighed and turned around.

I had took only a step away from Melo's bed when I heared his pleading voice callling my name "...Matt..."

I turned my face and met his blue all over eyes, sparkling with tears. I shok myself literaly, I had never see him cry. I got a bit closer to him and softened my voice.

" What is it, Mello?"

He didn't replie imediatelly. He looked at his gloved hands, then back at me, finally at his gloves again. " You...you really hate me, right...? " he asked, his voice close to a frightened whisper.

" M-Mello, I-" I muttered

"- you hate me...you and everybody else here..." he cut me off.

" No. No, I don't hate you, how could I? " i said and sat next to him on the bed. I lifted his cheen with my fingers and stared at his eyes, feeling that warmth again. " I don't hate you..." I wispered again.

" Even though I'm a ...bastard who has no friends, no girlfriends...no no-one? " he asked me, using my exact words.

I felt a heavy blush baking my fave, and it was my turn to take my eyes away from his. " Well...Mello...I'm sorry for that, ya know....I shouldn't have told you all this stuff, it's not the truth anyways...." I split out and continued rapidly " It's all my fault. The accident, the woond, everything! Is houldn't have tell you a thing, 'cause you, fuckin' bastard almost got yourself killed!" I shouted, misted and mad at him.

" So, you admit that it's your fault? " he asked me in surprise.

" I do! Now fuck off, you were fine, unconscious!I was there! I saw the car hit you! I yelled, I called you! But you are such a dumbass that you never hear a thing! " I yelled.

" Who cared, anyway? It was a coincidence that you were there! You felt guilty and tried to soothe yourself by saving me! You dodn't give a shit, you never did! " Mello screamed at my face, his eyes shining in anger.

" Wrong! You're wrong again, Mello! I expected something more from the second best in Wammy's, but you are so stupid! You can't even figure out what's going on a step away from you!" . I curled my fists and dug my nails in my skin. I didn't want to hurt him more.

" Oh, yeah? So you tell me, third best in Wammy's, what's going on! C'm on! " he chalenged me.

" The truth is that..." I hesitated. " The truth is that..." Breathe in, breathe out, calm down "...I was there, ok? I was there! I came tot he Hospital, sat outside your door. I knew it was my fault what hapened, but I didn't care bout me, ok? I just wanted you to de fine, right? You got it now? Are you pleased now? ". My kneels couldn't suport me anymore, I colapsed on his bed.

" Are you pleased now, Mello...? " I asked once more, just to say something.

" Not entirelly" Mello told me and I sighed in disbelief.

" What do you want from me, Mello...? " I aksed him wearily

" This" he said, and I felt is gloved hand carresing my cheek. I reared my head in surprise and his lips locked on mines.

I froze in shock and I think my heart skiped a beat. Mello pulled meere inches away and stared at me. I, on the other hand, couldn't take my eyes off of his lips.

"...fuck..." I muttered and leaned in frond, taking his lips in mines, closing my eyes tightly.

He titled his head and deepened the kiss, then wraped his hands around my neck and pulled me closer to him. My body stuck on his and I brushed my tongue on his lower lip, pleading for entrance. With a moan that made my heart jump in my chest, he parted his lips and soon his tonue found his way to mine, toying passionately in my mouth. I found my hands grabing his hips, and he left a lustfull moan, beging me to go ahead.

I druged him on my lap, still diging my fingers in his hips, under his pants now. I felt him wraping his legs around me, and his fingers travelled in betwin my thighs. I gasped and sucked on is neck, licking, niping, snaping, biting his skin. He threw back his head, alowing me more acces, kept on dabing at my lower area.

Panting, I pulled my lips from his skin. " W-wait...wait a minute...". His fingers were working to udo my clothes.

" What is it...?God, you're hot..." he exhailed on the krock of my ceck, having me shirtless at last. "...and hard..." he added with a devilish smile, feeling me right underneath him.

" Same to you...But I top..." I ordered and covered his lips. He bit my tongue in revenge, but then melted into the kiss.

_Yeah, this would be fun..._

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Roger was about to knock the door of Mello and Matt's room, when he heared a loud noise coming from the inside. He steped back, as if he couldln't believe what he'd heared. But...no, there was this sound again... a pand?

" Ah...ah, Matt..."

Roger blushed. Mello was...moaning? On top of it all, he was moaning Matt's name? ' the Hell?

"...oh my God...Mello...."

This one was a bit louder, followed by another moan. Matt's voice. He shoke his head as a groan was heared, suddently the panted voices stoped.

Roger steped away, smiling. _' What a crazy D.S of Matt this new one...This boy is a genious! He has even programmed the game to call his and Mello's name! It is inspired!'_ he kept on thinking while heading to his desck.

_**~~~End~~~**_

_**Well, this is it! I thought it would be such a ridiculus thing to have Roger overhearing Matt and Mello's "activities" without even knowing it ^^. Poor Roger...**_

_**Disclaimer :**__** I don't own a Death Note, Matt, Mello or Roger.**_

_**I'm sorry, I'm sure you'll find many errors... No matter how hard I try, I always skip some errors, I'm so sorry, really!!!**_


End file.
